Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Frost, and saving the semantic phenomenon


I usually hate when people say something like, "I want to live my life to the fullest with no regrets!" The statement is usually meant in one of two ways, both of which are complete foolishness. That said, though, I do think there is a way to save the phrase.

Here are the two ways most people mean the statement (and my problems with them). Then my attempt to make it work:

1. No regrets in general
To regret something is to wish that one had acted differently. Clearly no one can ever live a life in which they never wish they had acted differently (unless it is a life utterly bereft of reflection). "Even the wisest cannot see all ends."

2. No regrets about missed opportunities
What a lot of people mean by the phrase, is that they don't want to get to the end of their lives and say something like, "Gee, I really wish I would have gone base jumping with a penguin named Harry strapped to my chest." But missed opportunities are just as inevitable as unforeseen consequences.

To testify to all of this, here is the most overplayed poem in history (except maybe "A Dream Deferred"): Robert Frost's "Road Not Taken."

The obvious thrust of the verse is that a thoughtful person will always and forever be faced with mutually exclusive choices, and will never be able to know what might have been if they had chosen aught else. The sigh that Frost will heave is indeed a sigh of regret.

3. Living without meta-regret
There is one way in which I could accept the notion of "living without regret." This is that a person determines the values and rules that will guide his every move. These grant him a calculus by which to act in all situations, that he believes will minimize regrettable choices and actions. Then, at the end of his life, he may say that he has no regrets about maintaining that optimal calculus (even though it did not eliminate all first level regret).

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